Welcome to the fart box

Everyone always tells me how lucky I am to live in DC because of the public transit system, specifically the Metro! It's supposed to be the cleanest and best managed systems in the country. Well Monday night at the bar, I heard the first complaint ever about it. One of Zeke's co-workers, Anthony Mattie (but everyone just calls him Mattie), said he HATES the metro because he said "it's a giant fart box" and it makes him sick every time he gets on. I immediately start giggling. Anything with the word "fart" takes me back to my Beavis and Butthead watching days where my dad and I only referred to each other as "fart knockers". I've heard several fart analogies... but I've never heard a negative things about the Metro, much less heard it referred to to as a fart box! He proceeds to describe what happens when someone farts on there... the air has no where to go... so there you are... stuck in a fart box for ten minutes and it's disgusting. Well, in my 3 days of riding it, I hadn't experienced it, so I told him to stop over-reacting and quit being a public transportation snob. Then later I slapped him. But that's a side story, I'll get to it in a minute.

Today... the fart box comment all made sense. I was able to leave work around 5:55 to run and catch the 6:00 train to the Pentagon. As usual, it was packed. I was one of the lucky ones who grabbed a seat... or so I thought! Right after the train took off, I was overwhelmed with this rotten odor that made my eyes burn and I couldn't breathe. IT WAS A FART! Instantly, I looked up to see if anyone had a suspicious look on their face. I'm not sure why... what was I going to do? Point at him and call him a fart knocker??? Maybe just give them a "you know you just ripped one and you're an asshole" look. None the less, I was on a mission to find out who dealt it. I scoured my immediate neighbors who's butts were in my faces. I'm short as it is, plus I was sitting down, so I couldn't see their faces. No one makes eye contact on the Metro anyways, they are all busy listening to their iPods and reading a book (as was I before I was so rudely interrupted by the flatulence). Unsuccessful in my search for the culprit, I gave up and just started breathing through my mouth to avoid gagging.

It just so happened that this fart knocker chose to cut the cheese right as we are pulling out of the first stop and heading across the Potomac River (which is what separates DC from Arlington). It's a solid 4 minute stretch. 4 minutes doesn't sound that long, unless someone has just farted in your face. And BOY was Mattie right... the air literally has no where to go. It just lingers. Imagine if someone farted in the car then locked the windows so you couldn't roll them down.

So I now understand why & acknowledge the fact that the Metro didn't get an unfair nickname... it really is a fart box. So on my list of "things to bring on my daily commute", I need to add noseplugs and some Febreeze.

On less disgusting note, I saw my first REAL snow since living here! It snowed about 2 inches last night & into the morning. Here's what I woke up to...

View from my bedroom window

I would have been more excited if I wasn't so tired. Oh, why was I so tired, you ask? Well around 11:00 pm, Mister Snow Plow truck decided to drive up and down the street, over and over and over, plowing snow. And being the genius that I'm sure he is, the fact didn't cross his mind that it had MAYBE snowed 1/2 inch- so there was nothing to plow- so he was scraping concrete. For about an hour, all I heard was a loud diesel engine roaring and a giant shovel scraping concrete. Not pleasant. But it was a beautiful view this morning and I have to think positive.

I also got to wear my snowboots in real snow! I wore them to work today. I figured everyone in the office would have them on since... hello... it snowed! Boy was I wrong. All of the girls still wore their cute flats, high heels, and trendy flat boots. Not gonna lie... I kind of felt like a lesbian. I had on brown rubber boots, jeans, and a brown sweater over a white collared shirt. Good thing I have an engagement ring... I think my co-workers would have thought twice about my sexual orientation.

Despite my questionable outfit, I had a great day at work! They switched me over to Edmonton, which is in Alberta, which is in Canada. I submitted three deals for approval by our Operations Team! One is with an upscale health food restaurant  ($10 for $20 worth of food), one for a Yoga studio ($30 for one month unlimited yoga), and one hair salon ($125 for a Brazilian Blowout-regularly $300). 2 of 3 got approved this evening, so the next step is I send them a contract, they sign it, then we feature the deal! Pretty excited. No one from my training class has signed a deal yet, but another guy had a deal approved too, so it's a heated race to see which one of us can close first.

I. Must. Win.

So keep your fingers crossed for me and send good mojo my way tomorrow, hopefully I will have some good news to report!

Oh- and my slapping story. For some reason, Jason Canlas and I think it's hilarious to sneak up and slap the shit out of each other when we are drunk. There can't be any warning or hint that you're going to do it... you just have to launch a sneak attach. BAM! We think it's the funniest thing ever... but it's kind of endearing for us. So we have been hanging out with this Mattie guy quite a bit. He is the closest thing I have to a Canlas up here. A few beers and shots into the night, I decide it would be funny to sneak attack Mattie!

Yeah... not so much. He looked at me like a crazy person! He was like "Zeke, what the hell! Kate just slapped me!" I'm dying laughing in the corner, and poor Zeke had to explain that me and his best friend play a game at home, and it means that I like him. I was still laughing. Most normal people would have taken the hint, but not me! About 10 minutes later, I sneak attacked him again! And was dying laughing! I don' really remember what happened after that, but I know that I called Canlas and Face-Timed to tell him I miss him because I don't have anyone to play the slapping game with :(

That's all I have for tonight. Zeke's in Baltimore still, he had to stay 2 nights since he hasn't been there in a few weeks. So I'm bored at the apartment. I'm about to go crawl in bed and watch Criminal Minds. Best show EVER! Thank you mom for getting me addicted.

OH- one more thing! How could I not mention this??!!! Tomorrow is me and Zeke's FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY! We are celebrating by attending "Dude Fest: Lebowski Music and Movie Night" at the Arlington Cinema Draft House across the street. It's a once a year festival where they serve White Russians, play the soundtrack in the bar before, then show the movie. You're supposed to come dressed as your favorite character. Can't wait to post about it!

OK, good night for real this time. MWAH!