Tanning Tax? Really, Obama??

As our departure for the Bahamas approaches (8 days and counting), my pasty reflection got the best of me today. We have been diligent about working out, but unfortunately weight loss doesn't cause skin pigmentation to darken, so the 5 lbs I've lost goes completely un-noticed due to my alarmingly white complexion. I've tried my best to fight the urge, but I broke down today and went to Solar Planet, DC's version of Darque Tan.

In Texas, tanning is not a big deal. There's a tanning salon every 2 miles, and you can get an unlimited membership for $20 a month just about anywhere. I suppose it's because it's always warm and women can actually wear dresses/shorts year round, so it's pretty embarrassing to be pasty. Up here, October-April is jacket weather, and if you show skin you're just plain insane, so everyone is pasty. I understand it's horrible for your body and causes skin cancer, so not tanning hasn't bothered me until last Saturday at Target when I tried on swimsuits. Gross.

Upon my arrival to Solar Planet, I was greeted by the leathery looking 30 something year old. She gives me the tour of the facility... talks about the different beds... tells me the importance of lotion... blah blah blah. I don't think she realized she was talking to a tanning pro. I mean... 1 year at Tan Makers in Humble, then 2 years at Body Bronze in college- I know my sh*t, lady. I was about to throw out the "Yeah, I worked at a tanning salon in high school and college", but I realized that might be kind of rude considering she's in her 30's and is STILL working at one. So I just ignored her suggestions for the $150 lotion and got down to business.

We discussed package options, and after I picked my jaw up off the floor, I looked over the options again. Let's see.... I could pick packages ranging from 5 tans for $96 all the way up to 50 tans for $525. She was trying to explain how the $525 package was the "best deal" because it's almost $10 a tan. $10 A TAN??? Holy Moly. What happened to $20 a month? I'm desperate though... this is the longest my skin has gone without sunlight in a really long time.

I broke down and purchased a package, and will never reveal how much I paid because it's embarrassing, but let's just say I could have purchased these adorable Tory Burch "Sally 2" peep toes that I was eyeing at Nordstrom's earlier today instead.

Damn you, DC tanning salons.

To add insult to injury, the total was higher than I expected. Confused, I asked her to run through the charges with me. She rattled off everything I was aware of, then at the end said "Oh- and don't forget the extra 10% tanning tax. Yeah... it always makes the price go up. You can thank your President and the old Democratic Congress for that one." It was part of the healthcare reform bill passed in 2010. Excuse me, but a TANNING TAX?? Are you serious??? Not only does the government keep 20% of my paycheck, 38% of my commission checks, but now I get taxed an extra 10% for trying to get some sun on my pasty skin. That's just ridiculous. The woman told me that it was a HUGE deal on twitter, and Snooki was tweeting about it for a few days. Hmm... not sure how I missed that news flash.

Either way- it's done, I have a package, and I'm going to make sure and get as tan as Sammi Sweetheart before I walk down the aisle. Take that, Congress.