Mr. and Mrs. Smith Went To Washington: Introducing: Cover Letter Mondays

Thanks to inspiration by some fabulous ladies I met at the Blogger Blitz Washington last night, I have a new concept I'm rolling out on MAMSGTW {my new trendy abbreviation for the blog}. It's an extension of my g-chat status updates. If we aren't friends on g-chat, comment on this post with your chat name and I'll add you-- the more the merrier.

Without further adieu, I present to you: Cover letter Mondays.

As you ~~better~~ know, I transferred to the recruiting department for my company. I'm sure you can imagine how many resumes we receive each month... think thousands. Part of my job is to weed through knee high applicants' resumes... AND read the random and sometimes baffling cover letters. While they can be a thorn in my side some days... it does provide consistent entertainment. For any of you readers that are currently searching for jobs, let me give you a few hints.

- Never, under any circumstances, attach a picture to your resume. Unless you're applying for a spot on The Bachelor. If I need to know what you look like, I can always Facebook stalk.
- Speaking of: if you are applying for a job, PLEASE make sure your Facebook profile is private and your picture is something you would be comfortable with your preacher viewing. Not you in a bikini on the 4th of July taking a jello shot off of someone's naval.
- Please do not include your hobbies. You will not get an interview because you love knitting, fishing, pilates, World of Warcraft, collecting bottle caps, hiked the Mayan Ruins, or baked an award winning pie in middle school. Save that info for the awkward happy hour convo once you GET the job.
- If you are going to use a word with 4 or more syllables, please make sure you use it correctly. {Vociferous is not a good word to describe your sales style}
- Do not confuse words like "they're" and "there" and "their"... "you're" and "your"... or "two" and "too". Not smooth.
- One word: Objective. While unnecessary {if you have a cover letter}, please make sure if matches the job you are applying for. Please don't say "Detail oriented accountant seeking challenging job in finance" when you are applying for a Sales job.
- Do not default your font color to hot pink. You are not Elle Woods nor are you applying for an internship on Legally Blonde.
- Last, but not least, please don't use text lingo in cover letter. Actually, don't do anything like this guy... ever:

"Take a chance on greatness. Natural brn slsman. Lives a 5min walk from ur office. Exercise is Awesome. Nothing bttr then freshair...thats where the ideas are. Loves taking nature walks, long bike rides, & seeing a shooting star every now n then is rlly cool. Also enjoys a good happy hour with good friends (strangers, new, & old). Nice to meet you."

Starting today, I will reserve Mondays for the latest and greatest *All Star* cover letters I come across during my hours spent slaving away in front of a computer.

As an ode to my inspiration, here are a few pics that I snapped from last night's Blogger Blitz!